tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20630456727751535682024-03-13T08:06:16.376-07:00Webster's DemiseSpelling and the English LanguageMacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-24662708816838800822008-12-11T15:31:00.001-08:002008-12-12T13:59:49.848-08:00Personal FavoritesBologna<br />Colonel<br />Bookkeeper<br />Queue<br />Opossum<br />Aardvark<br />Column<br />Rough, through, though, trough, plough<br />Sword<br />Sure<br />Align<br />Mortgage<br />Rhythm<br />Jewelry<br />Boatswain<br />Glacier<br />Onomatopoeia<br />Tomb<br />The<br />Impugn<br />Vacuum<br />Yacht<br />Hemorrhage<br />Foreign<br />Syzygy<br />Naphtha<br />Gnat<br />One to add of my own, knightMacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-67075702631523369512008-12-09T21:31:00.000-08:002008-12-07T16:01:58.042-08:00V<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/cQvcR0bYatw&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/cQvcR0bYatw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />"VoilĂ ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.<br /><br />The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.<br /><br />Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."<br /><br />You might be hard pressed to find another language in which you could cram 48 words beginning with the letter 'V' into a 127 word, 56 second speech.MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-3964721557288430822008-12-07T15:03:00.000-08:002008-12-07T15:18:29.887-08:00BushismsI found this article on About.com filed under the header 'English as 2nd Language'. I know it's not necessarily spelling, but it's still funny as hell. See if you can correct his mistakes before pulling down the answer.<br /><br />Bushisms-US President Proves How Difficult English Really Is!<br /><br />Most teachers will certainly agree with me that we spend a lot of time trying to convince our students that English is really not so difficult. We use many kinds of exercises designed to help students feel comfortable learning English, exercises that help students feel confident when speaking English. Luckily, most of our students do a wonderful job of learning English and I would like to applaud their efforts.<br /> <br /> In order to congratulate you and further encourage you in your efforts to learn English, I would like to be completely honest with you for a moment. English is difficult! English is so difficult that even the current President of The United States has some difficulty using it correctly. Here are some memorable quotes of President George W. Bush. Unfortunately, President Bush seems to have some basic English usage problems. Take a look at these quotes, have a good laugh, and see if you can spot the mistake. Click on the arrow to see if you have identified the mistake correctly.<br /><br /> Most importantly, congratulate yourself on having learned such a difficult language. A language that even the President of the United States, George W. Bush, finds challenging!<br /> <br /> Many thanks to Daniel Kurtzman About's guide to political humor for the <a href="http://politicalhumor.about.com/comedy/politicalhumor/library/blclassicquotes.htm">Bushisms quote resource</a> and images.<br /><br /> <center><br /> A Few Grammar and Vocabulary Problems<br /> </center><br /> <br /> "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" George W. Bush<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...Are our children learning?<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis." CNBC, April 15, 2000<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...how bright our children are...<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "She is a member of a labor union at one point." Announcing his nomination of Linda Chavez as secretary of labor. Austin, Texas, Jan. 2, 2001<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> She was a member of ...<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...a lot of medicine as we used to know it.<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together." Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...A leader is someone who...<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "We ought to make the pie higher." South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...make the pie larger.<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...become fewer?<br /> </option><br /> </select><br /> <br /> "You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001<br /> <br /> <select><br /> <option><br /> --<br /> </option><br /> <option><br /> ...and he or she will be able...<br /> </option><br /></select>MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-73669029200391108682008-12-07T13:29:00.000-08:002008-12-07T13:31:01.624-08:00According to FriendsAs a supplement to this project, I decided to ask my friends for their favorite awkwardly spelled words. Their comments are as follows:MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-27747308613505482922008-12-03T20:12:00.000-08:002008-12-07T20:23:23.643-08:00To All the Non-Native Speakers, My Sincerest Apologies21 Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn: <br /><br />1) The bandage was wound around the wound. <br />2) The farm was used to produce produce. <br />3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. <br />4) We must polish the Polish furniture. <br />5) He could lead if he would get the lead out. <br />6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. <br />7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was <br />time to present the present. <br />8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. <br />9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. <br />10) I did not object to the object. <br />11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. <br />12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. <br />13) They were too close to the door to close it. <br />14) The buck does funny things when the does are present. <br />15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. <br />16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. <br />17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. <br />18) After a number of injections my jaw got number. <br />19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear. <br />20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. <br />21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-52987011364561969662008-11-29T20:30:00.000-08:002008-12-07T21:03:40.559-08:00From a Lovely Website Called Engrish.comA toilet on time-out.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXkemQdI/AAAAAAAAABo/SwHVaAvLLRM/s1600-h/out-of-control-toilet.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 233px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXkemQdI/AAAAAAAAABo/SwHVaAvLLRM/s320/out-of-control-toilet.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277276886742221266" /></a><br /><br />100% all-beef franks.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXs5Ww1I/AAAAAAAAABg/NFmxlf8x11c/s1600-h/new-york-hotdog.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 298px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXs5Ww1I/AAAAAAAAABg/NFmxlf8x11c/s320/new-york-hotdog.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277276889001935698" /></a><br /><br />That is either one itty-bitty moose, or some very large traps.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXenCtwI/AAAAAAAAABY/fdOqFwvK4js/s1600-h/moose-traps.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 306px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STynXenCtwI/AAAAAAAAABY/fdOqFwvK4js/s320/moose-traps.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277276885167027970" /></a><br /><br />I always prefer eating mine with a good merlot and a Cuban cigar...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STympL5u4MI/AAAAAAAAABQ/Y9JGdcFCjU4/s1600-h/good-testes.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 264px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_BgubptrtMoI/STympL5u4MI/AAAAAAAAABQ/Y9JGdcFCjU4/s320/good-testes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5277276089871163586" /></a>MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-62894305905360280812008-11-28T14:47:00.000-08:002008-12-07T14:23:17.730-08:00Because There's a Fucking 'H' In ItIf you are unfamiliar with Eddie Izzard, I must forewarn you, he is a British 'Executive Transvestite' stand-up comedian, and freaking hillarious. I highly recommend watching the entirety of his special, <span style="font-style:italic;">Dressed to Kill</span>, from which this clip is taken.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/9IzDbNFDdP4&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/9IzDbNFDdP4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />His analysis is spot on, not to mention funny as hell. Why do we pronounce "herb" as "erb"? <br /><br />I feel so sorry for non-native speakers who must learn English.MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2063045672775153568.post-19344436437958233322008-11-25T11:13:00.000-08:002008-12-07T14:08:47.351-08:00The The Impotence of ProofreadingThis is a fantastic poem by slam poet Taylor Mali, one of my all-time favorites, called "The The Impotence of Proofreading." In fact, this poem is the inspiration behind this entire project.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OonDPGwAyfQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OonDPGwAyfQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />The The Impotence of Proofreading<br /><br />Has this ever happened to you?<br />You work very very horde on a paper for English clash<br />And still get a very glow raid on it (like a D or even a D=)<br />and all because you are the liverwurst spoiler in the whale wide word.<br />Yes, proofreading your peppers is a matter of the the utmost impotence.<br /><br />Now this is a problem that affects manly, manly students all over the word.<br />I myself was such a bed spiller once upon a term<br />that my English torturer in my sophomoric year,<br />Mrs. Myth, she said that I was never gonna get into a good colleague.<br />And that's all I wanted, that's all any kid wants at that age, just to get into a good colleague.<br />And not just anal community colleague either,<br />because I am not the kind of guy who would be happy at just anal community colleague.<br />I need to be challenged, challenged menstrually.<br />I need a place that can offer me intellectual simulation,<br />So I know this probably makes me sound like a stereo,<br />but I really felt that I could get into an ivory legal collegue.<br />So if I did not improvement,<br />then gone would be my dream of going to Harvard, Jail, or Prison,<br />You know, in Prison, New Jersey.<br /><br />So I got myself a spell checker<br />and I figured I was on Sleazy Street.<br /><br />But there are several missed aches<br />that a spell chukker can't can't catch catch.<br />For instant, if you accidentally leave out word<br />your spell checker won't put it in you.<br />And God for billing purposes only<br />you should have serial problems with Tori Spelling<br />your spell Chekhov might end up using a word<br />you had absolutely no detention of using.<br />Because, I mean, what do you want it to douche, you know?<br />No, it only does what you tell it to douche.<br />You're the one who's sitting in front of the computer scream,<br />with your hand on the mouth going clit, clit, clit.<br />Just goes to show you how embargo<br />one careless little clit of the mouth can be.<br /><br />Which reminds me of this one time during my Junior Mint.<br />The teacher took the paper that I had written on A Sale of Two Titties<br />No, I'm cereal, I am cereal.<br />She read it out loud in front of all of my assmates.<br />It was, quite possibly, one of the most humidifying experiences I have ever had,<br />being laughed at like that pubically.<br /><br />So do yourself a flavor and follow these two Pisces of advice:<br />One: There is no prostitute for careful editing of your own work, no prostitute whatsoever.<br />And three: When it comes to proofreading,<br />the red penis your friend.<br /><br />Spank you.MacKenzie Edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12222065468935852057noreply@blogger.com0