Thursday, December 11, 2008

Personal Favorites

Rough, through, though, trough, plough
One to add of my own, knight

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


"VoilĂ ! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V."

You might be hard pressed to find another language in which you could cram 48 words beginning with the letter 'V' into a 127 word, 56 second speech.

Sunday, December 7, 2008


I found this article on filed under the header 'English as 2nd Language'. I know it's not necessarily spelling, but it's still funny as hell. See if you can correct his mistakes before pulling down the answer.

Bushisms-US President Proves How Difficult English Really Is!

Most teachers will certainly agree with me that we spend a lot of time trying to convince our students that English is really not so difficult. We use many kinds of exercises designed to help students feel comfortable learning English, exercises that help students feel confident when speaking English. Luckily, most of our students do a wonderful job of learning English and I would like to applaud their efforts.

In order to congratulate you and further encourage you in your efforts to learn English, I would like to be completely honest with you for a moment. English is difficult! English is so difficult that even the current President of The United States has some difficulty using it correctly. Here are some memorable quotes of President George W. Bush. Unfortunately, President Bush seems to have some basic English usage problems. Take a look at these quotes, have a good laugh, and see if you can spot the mistake. Click on the arrow to see if you have identified the mistake correctly.

Most importantly, congratulate yourself on having learned such a difficult language. A language that even the President of the United States, George W. Bush, finds challenging!

Many thanks to Daniel Kurtzman About's guide to political humor for the Bushisms quote resource and images.

A Few Grammar and Vocabulary Problems

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?" George W. Bush

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis." CNBC, April 15, 2000

"She is a member of a labor union at one point." Announcing his nomination of Linda Chavez as secretary of labor. Austin, Texas, Jan. 2, 2001

"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."

"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together." Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher." South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.'' Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001

According to Friends

As a supplement to this project, I decided to ask my friends for their favorite awkwardly spelled words. Their comments are as follows:

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

To All the Non-Native Speakers, My Sincerest Apologies

21 Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Saturday, November 29, 2008

From a Lovely Website Called

A toilet on time-out.

100% all-beef franks.

That is either one itty-bitty moose, or some very large traps.

I always prefer eating mine with a good merlot and a Cuban cigar...

Friday, November 28, 2008

Because There's a Fucking 'H' In It

If you are unfamiliar with Eddie Izzard, I must forewarn you, he is a British 'Executive Transvestite' stand-up comedian, and freaking hillarious. I highly recommend watching the entirety of his special, Dressed to Kill, from which this clip is taken.

His analysis is spot on, not to mention funny as hell. Why do we pronounce "herb" as "erb"?

I feel so sorry for non-native speakers who must learn English.